Competency at work
Emotional strike at work today! This morning was just so busy...there were lots of cases and bosses actually did come early..... but dunno whether the cases were real difficult or the bosses were just turtle slow, the flow just got stuck. Further more, the head boss pop down to say he gotta leave early thus schedule then suddenly changed, the meeting had then to be held earlier.I am now a modulator in the section, I was supposed to be organizing the flow and making sure every cases and meeting was being dealt with properly. However when all the above happened , I was following cases with one of the bosses....my difficulty was: how come I was the one to follow cases but not staying in the section to keep an eye on the flow? In fact there were other colleagues but they all seemed to have their business to deal with and I just couldn't find excuses to request their help. The outcome was that I had no clue when the head came down and ordered to have the meeting earlier, the meeting was then held by another colleague for me, I was stuck following cases with one boss and when I finished everything was done and I gotta took over to follow up (執手尾)which in fact I didn't know what have been talked about and what things were required to be follow up....
Also adding with yesterday's "combo" mistakes that I carelessly let go the client before things were done, poor time management and lack of confidence to chase up the boss to finish the case which led to the complaint of the client, and the unforgivable messy filing that made a boss discover toady and I have no excuses but apologize.........all these just heavily strike me down and I serious query my competency to take up this important post. suck!!
The tight schedule today made me totally collapsed by the time of lunch, I just ran into the toilet to cry as a relief...a colleague noticed and comfort me, however, I still think that I am not good enough for being a modulator, with me, everything seems just get into a mess.
I have a strong feeling of 不能也，非不為也．I actually knows what I should do and when I did it, things just turn out with problems, then I blamed myself a lot. This just becomes a cycle but I got no improvement at all. When I got my brain ready to deal with one thing, I just can't spare more to handle others. When I got myself ready to cope with one thing, another new trouble arise. I actually do tried hard to keep things going properly but there's just too much that I couldn't achieved. Then it's just like everyday I am keep disappointing myself and others. I do wanna be smart, 我都想做好呢份工, 但我太唔識變通，轉數太慢，太蛇ｇｗｅｒ，I very much query my manager's decision of letting me taking up this post. I dun wanna give up and I really dun wanna disappoint her....what can I do? To say it more precise, with my limited ability, how can I do better? What the xxxx! I hate myself in my working performance!
Labels: depress, disappointment, work
posted by wai @ 12:18 am
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Date back for March 19-21: Macau trip
The Macau trip was fab!! Fab on the fact that it was a happy family gathering. Can't recall for how long we haven't been all together to go abroad to spend a holiday...because we are travelling as "a whole family", the highlight of the trip in the end didn't count on those tourist spots but on the happy atmosphere that we have never had since a long time before...although I know they may not feel the same way, at least this is how I feel.
I can't figure out how things are going so well this time....but after this trip I realized I've now learnt just to treasure the beautiful moments. For things that will happen, it will happen eventually. There's actually nothing to worry about. Just to seek solution only when it happens as a worse situation and on the other hand, to enjoy the good times when things appears to be good. Even when others doesn't feel how you feel, you ought to believe that's how your happiness comes from.
I apologize for those who can't figure out what I am talking about coz only friends who know the background may understand why I was so excited about the family trip. Anyway, I do love this feeling, the feeling of we are staying together.
posted by wai @ 12:11 am
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Date back for March- Birthday with RHS gangs
These people!! Didn't even send me msg to wish me happy birthday except Peter...I've scolded them for this (laugh~) We went to Outback Steakhouse in CWB to have dinner for a late celebration for me on March 7th. Even Kim, who haven't contacted for long, join us again this time. The food and the atmosphere were real good, we ate alot and had a great laugh together. Though we were very full, we still wanna hang out for a bit and thus went for dessert elsewhere afterwards. Not really tasty this time but well, just for a place to stay longer so didn't matter much! Thx Ki for organizing these for me~
Labels: birthday, chiu, chu, friends, fun, gathering, happy, ki, kim, peter, RHS gangs
posted by wai @ 9:08 pm
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Date back for March- Birthday with Daisy
She's my best friend. She's the only one that 不辭勞苦 and very 盛意拳拳 to invite me to join her for celebrating my birthday. Actually I was quite reluctant coz I don't wanna bother her coz she was supposed to be dining out with her colleagues....but she insisted to invite me to join them and said that she'll treat me for the Cova Desert buffet that night.
I don't know...actually I'm a very anti-social person, to go out with a gang of strangers is in fact a struggle for me...but at the end of the day, of course I didn't wanna spend my birthday alone...also...when Daisy is such a sweetheart that I can feel how deeply our friendship is... I decided to go out with her at last....luckily her colleagues is quite nice and because she is just sitting nx to me, I can have her to chat with and need not dig my brain to pick out topics to kill the dead air with strangers...
After the buffet, 2 of us left to have a walk in the shopping centre, though all shops are almost closed by that time, we still found our fun by taking snap shots with the toy dolls in a supermarket...in conclusion, that's still a wonderful birthday night. Friendship forever pal~
I don't know...actually I'm a very anti-social person, to go out with a gang of strangers is in fact a struggle for me...but at the end of the day, of course I didn't wanna spend my birthday alone...also...when Daisy is such a sweetheart that I can feel how deeply our friendship is... I decided to go out with her at last....luckily her colleagues is quite nice and because she is just sitting nx to me, I can have her to chat with and need not dig my brain to pick out topics to kill the dead air with strangers...
After the buffet, 2 of us left to have a walk in the shopping centre, though all shops are almost closed by that time, we still found our fun by taking snap shots with the toy dolls in a supermarket...in conclusion, that's still a wonderful birthday night. Friendship forever pal~
Labels: best friend, birthday, daisy
posted by wai @ 8:54 pm
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Date back for March- Birthday
This place has finally been temporarily settled so I'm trying to date back a few things which I think it's worth sharing, the most important thing will be my birthday.
It's my first "unoccupied" birthday. I believe...to a certain extend because of this reason, my sis and mom got me fully occupied on that day (actually that was the day b4 coz they spare me for my friends on my birthday), which I was very much impressed. Not until I was out of a relationship I then realize family is really a big backup for me. I was overwhelm with the love that they gave me...without them I think I will feel so lonely and just wanna hide myself. You know, as you are growing older, actually birthday becomes less exciting as before, and gradually you won't expect surprises on your birthday. I doesn't mean one don't hope to celebrate birthday, just that at the end of the day, it won't matters too much even if there really gets no one to celebrate with you.....Well, I mean to a certain years of age, you will understand the fact that your friends have their own lives and people to take care of and you will very much forgive them for not showing concern on your birthday....at least this is how I feel.
It's my first "unoccupied" birthday. I believe...to a certain extend because of this reason, my sis and mom got me fully occupied on that day (actually that was the day b4 coz they spare me for my friends on my birthday), which I was very much impressed. Not until I was out of a relationship I then realize family is really a big backup for me. I was overwhelm with the love that they gave me...without them I think I will feel so lonely and just wanna hide myself. You know, as you are growing older, actually birthday becomes less exciting as before, and gradually you won't expect surprises on your birthday. I doesn't mean one don't hope to celebrate birthday, just that at the end of the day, it won't matters too much even if there really gets no one to celebrate with you.....Well, I mean to a certain years of age, you will understand the fact that your friends have their own lives and people to take care of and you will very much forgive them for not showing concern on your birthday....at least this is how I feel.
But for this time, I was really very surprised! Nearly can't remember for how long we haven't been out to have a "whole family" gathering for a special event( those who knows me will understand my family situation ).... sis specially arranged her day off just for my birthday celebration and since my dad also came back from work, we all went to a hotel to have brunch buffet which my mom already booked beforehand. That day was superb!!!! The food was good, the atmosphere was good, everything was just so good! I was so happy. Not just treating me for a great lunch, my sis and mom even bought me birthday present which I think it's too expensive. Can you feel the love that I was flooded in? Not until that moment I then realize how selfish I was to left them for some unrelated ones on my birthday before. I will always remember this birthday. Such a regret that i haven't taken any photos with them....but anyway, the pictures will always be in my mind.
posted by wai @ 5:02 am
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Finally done~
How time consuming this is!!!! For somebody who doesn't know webpage designing at all this is just a super sophisticate task! I've spent a whole lot of time searching for a blog skin and trying to copy and paste from other template format to modify it to suits my requirements..... after millions of trials and errors I finally got this done....(well...almost done....still gotta find appropriate content to fit into the sidebar info. )
Still need to do the acknowledgement for the contributors....
Yeah...I'm quite happy with this layout... how about u?
Enjoy~
Still need to do the acknowledgement for the contributors....
Yeah...I'm quite happy with this layout... how about u?
Enjoy~
Labels: blog skin
posted by wai @ 7:47 pm
1 comments
Computerless.....
Havn't been up for ages.....it's because the screen of my laptop has burnt out and thus it's taken away for repair.....LIFE IS DULL WITHOUT COMPUTER!!
1st of all, all my unfinished homework was saved in my laptop and thus it's really a shock when the screen turned black all of a sudden that day, not to mention I can't hand in those homework on time, life is just so inconvenient without accessing to the internet.
Also there're lots that I wanna talk about here...time isn't enough by now, I'll try my best to trace back those things that were worth to mention later.
Thanks god that I can have my laptop back. This story again told us that backing up is very very important!
1st of all, all my unfinished homework was saved in my laptop and thus it's really a shock when the screen turned black all of a sudden that day, not to mention I can't hand in those homework on time, life is just so inconvenient without accessing to the internet.
Also there're lots that I wanna talk about here...time isn't enough by now, I'll try my best to trace back those things that were worth to mention later.
Thanks god that I can have my laptop back. This story again told us that backing up is very very important!
Labels: boring, broken down, computerless
posted by wai @ 12:21 am
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