Anti-sociability
Today we had an AGM and thus gathered all colleagues in the profession. It's such a big activity and everyone was socializing around chatting/gossipping with each other before start or during breaks...seems like everyone can pair up with others but just me except sitting on my place then I have no where to go...actually I also know people from other centres but they're all just hi-bye friends...people never come to me and had a real chat...and..in order to avoid the embarrassing dead-air situation with others, my anti-sociability strike on again, and i never approach to any other. Luckily I got one of my funny colleagues sitting near me so we can fool around and made me didn't feel too odd staying alone.Then after the meeting, my old classmates and a few of their friends opt for karaoke but I just didn't feel like to join. 1st I dun wanna back home so late coz I was a bit tired (coz by the time we finished the meeting it's already 9 sth, if we go for karaoke we must play till midnite), 2nd I can imagine how embarrassing it would be when somebody's keeping on chasing you home( I realize this issue worsen again recently as my mom turned back to the old track and become v. concern on what time I will be going home....can't figure out why but this really gives me a bit of annoyance, her over-anxiety makes me feel uncomfy....like sth worse may really happen if I come home late.... gosh~), 3rd I just dun feel comfy going for this sort of super interactive activities with strangers... not really impossible, just that if I really decided to go, I actually did give myself full courage to make that decision. U know, singing karaoke means you r disclosing your ability to sing in front of some strangers, unlike with close friends in which when you sing off tone we can just laugh away which enhance the happy atmosphere, it's super embarrassing if you sing a wrong tune or even u just can't sing as gd as others among a group of new friends, too embarrassed that you seriously will consider not to hang out with them again and rather to keep them as strangers instead.........
Is this only my problem??
Labels: anti-social, character defect
posted by wai @ 1:55 am
