New move
I guess this is the new biggest ever decision in my life! Yes....i'm finally moving to live alone!Have been talking about this for long but it's only till now that i've put this into action....well...but then the catalyst for this isn't a happy reason....
mom's been terribly difficult to deal with these days...we're in a very delicate situation now....sis n i hv tried many ways to talk it thro' with her and try to guide her out of her stubbornness but yet she's not willing to step out and refuse to listen......keep isolating herself and insist to resist any care or concern from anyone including us, grandma and my uncle.....she's not willing to get any counseling or psychological help....
we're like two strangers living in the same hse....this atmosphere created massive pressure to me....i m so suffocated within the dead air between us.
perhaps many others don't agree with my decision of moving out when my mom is going through her hard time but i'm too tired to deal with it.....this is so frustrating when u see someone as close as your mother is neglecting the relationship that have been built up for over 2o yrs and no matter how much you've tried to let her know that you still care for her, she just has her own perspective and reinterpret your motivation in a negative sense..... yes...it's this negative power influencing me too much that i feel so stressed out every day. even though we dun actually hv quarrel at all, the stuffiness in the hse, as in the weather outdoor these days, is torturing me alot.... and thus, i made this decision eventually, after thorough discussion with my sis.
i always question myself if the situation would change if i put more effort to talk to my mom...... i dun have any answer yet.....i just know that whenever i speak to her her attitude to me is even worser than treating a stranger..... and i already feel damn tired...i need a break.
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There's too much to deal with.... moving out and setting up a new place isn't easy, it's a tough task....but interesting though :)
because of hving this new "mission", my time is so occupied and i feel more peaceful.
packing requires so much of hard work....
i'm moving real soon and i'm looking forward to the my new life after that. this will be another very special birthday to me in life...truely my new page of life.......good wish.
posted by wai @ 6:41 pm
