Life's going on

Sunday, October 24, 2010

首次新居曱甴入侵記

from weibo in the middle of last night.....while i was still doing my homework:

第一次有曱甴走入屋～嚇死！又冇殺蟲水！好彩隻嘢唔識飛又好鬼鈍．．最後睇凖時機出盡力一腳DUM瓜佢！好核突～啲曱甴血係黑色嘅，仲要射到好遠！

執佢條屍個手感都好核突～

結果我要戴住膠手套再加成尺厚厠紙先夠薑執起佢冲落厠所！之後即刻閂窗開冷氣！以後夜晚都係唔可以開窗，如果唔係瞓咗隻嘢爬落我度就不堪設想！

maybe my flat is too dirty these days since i've been working on my assignments and hvn't do the cleaning!!! i'm not too afraid of cockroaches on the streets but then when they come right into my flat its totally another story!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just one more week on my assignment..... i swear i will do the cleaning work once i'm done with it !!!!!!!

my girl's funeral

wanna put back the post from weibo here:

10月19日 18:54

在途上去見她最後一面了....願她安息....她甜美的笑臉會永遠記在我心中。

10月19日 21:03

看完她了....是瘦了一點.....但怎麼說對她也是一種解脫....她父母對她很不捨,不停說她真的很孝順...尤其她母親更是傷心欲絕....聽着她母親說如何不習慣沒有她的日子感覺更是凄酸.....

踏出靈堂的一刻我的母親浮現在腦內....如果今天在靈堂內的是我, 大概她會不停痛罵我這個女兒多麼的不孝...怎麼也不會記起在這廿多個年頭裡我那時曾愛過她.....

我們現在大概也不會知道對方是否尚在人間......她也許是我今生來世遇上過最頑固、最折磨自己、也最折磨別人的人!

各位，奉勸大家要珍惜當下，珍惜自己所擁有的, 珍惜眼前人....還要凡事知足，凡事感恩。共勉之。

Monday, October 18, 2010

emotion challenge

tomorrow will be my hello kitty girl's funeral...

um..... i've prepared for feeling sorrow for the night....

all i hope is this won't worsen the condition of my herpes zoster.....

but i must go...

this is what i've promised her.... n this is the last thing that i can do for her.....

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talking about my herpes zoster, it is now healing but i feel worser than before...... coz there r scar formation and peeling off.....my skin around there is super itchy..... so now it's not just the pain...... but with the very intolerable itchiness......i couldn't sleep well.... arrrrrghhhhh....how long would this still last????????

奇妙過奇妙

尋日好好好好好唔開心的，但今朝一覺瞓醒竟然心情舒𣈱，唔知發生乜事，但個人好似開咗竅咁，諗通晒～

可能係天父俾緊指引我～

冇再唔開心～

之前會咁嬲係因為我 lost track 咗，行錯咗．．．．行快咗．．．．．其實諗諗吓都唔係一件咁大件事啫～

其實，我知自己個毛病就係好易嘭嘭聲標晒啲情感出嚟，一係冇感覺，一係就好易湧晒啲感覺出嚟。

只要我唔憎嗰個人，同佢相處感覺舒服，人地話鍾意我，相對地我好易會鍾意返人，會好肯付出．．．．

所以某啲情况下人地做嘅嘢同我唔相對，挑起咗我條痴筋我就會嚟料．．．．

我呢道所指嘅抱括我對我所有視為朋友嘅朋友．．．．

我諗我對之前講嘅嗰個人，可能被佢撩起咗之後我一時行快咗，盲目地投放多咗情感～

其實冷靜啲諗番吓，我地唔算好認識，大家都唔了解對方，何解會因為人地一時可能冇乜特別意思嘅行為而嬲到爆炸呢？short short 地～

我冇嬲嗰個人了．．．佢都有試圖再 text 我，不過啲 text 其實都有啲奇奇怪怪咁嘅，不過都唔深究嘞～之不過我尋日仲好喪當然冇覆啦，今日就係有啲唔知點覆，話晒之前鬧爆咗人，同埋都想自己再丟淡啲清醒啲先再算囉～好在嚟緊一個星期都唔會有機會接觸到佢，咁正好可以收覆吓自己過盛嘅情感～

太好嘞，自我反省完，又學到嘢～知道自己有咩要改下嘞．．．．

自己加油～多謝天父～

Sunday, October 17, 2010

我就嚟爆炸

我好想大喊一場，但係喊唔出眼淚．．．．．

好辛苦．．．．我就嚟谷到爆炸！！！！

明明一路好地地點解無端端可以變成咁？

明明可以好地地一路做朋友點解無端端要玩我呢？

明明我一路視你為恩人，好感激你．．．點解無端端要咁傷害我呢？

如果要等我報恩嘅話今次我應該可以算還凸俾你了．．．．

我諗今次最唔開心係一個一直以來我對佢評價咁高嘅人會咁樣對我．．．．

係咪又係我出咗啲問題呢？

我好傷心．．．

希望PMS快啲完．．．．．．

依家，終於流到眼淚了．．．．．．

好．．．喊完我要好番．．．

i have nth to lose

ok....just a while ago... that guy replied ..... n i gone furious~ this makes me feel better of how the things ended because now i know i have nth to lose.

i txted and asked if he's ok...is there any reason y he's not txting me these few days........ he didn't reply at first....n i asked again coz i started worry there might be some issue going on with him and wonder if he's sick or anything......how silly i am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

after the second msg he replied..... HE REPLIED WITH THE SILLIEST ATTITUDE THAT I COULD HAVE ENCOUNTERED!!!!! he said it's cool to be disappearing for a while~ and ending the msg with lots of "haha"..........in chinese, he said " 得閒玩吓失踪有型啲丫嘛哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈" HOW RIDICULOUS!!!!! i immediately gone furious.... i can't believe i'm worrying about this guy and he is actually just playing games ......... i can't bear people as childish as him~ coz i'm too angry i told him to fuxk off and stay out of me...... i don't know if he's pretending or what but he still dared to ask me to translate the meaning for him in chinese........and continued to give me back all the silly messages like " ooo.. u r swearing~ " ("你講粗口！) " o...u nuts...." ( "變態佬") ........ o gosh !!! is he a nerd?! can't he realize i gone mad on this!!!! screw him~ it's really a waste of my time worrying about this guy!!!!

he even still dared to said gd nite....

O GOSH i need time to rest my anger.......prolly its not really anger....i don't know how to describe in english...but in chinese 太激動因為條友太太太太不可理諭太太太幼稚了....... the whole thing is so ridiculous~

i feel better though coz this time it's not another "i've got dumped" or "i'm the one chosen to be given up" situation~

蛇死桃花謝

“蛇死桃花謝”．．．．this is what is concluded by my sister..... how sad~

so the guy is withdrawing all of a sudden...even when i approach him, he never gives me reply anymore.....

i hate this...he is the second person that i'm getting along very well through text messages.....and one day he just disappears out of no reason.....i hate recalling memories with wes.....maybe this is another lesson to prove that any healthy relationship shouldn't base too much on text messages.....healthy communication should be through verbal conversations i guess

wat makes me feel even more disappointed is that in real life situation we actually get along well too......so i'm so so soooooo confused what has happened in between and drove him to withdraw from me....

maybe it's not my problem....maybe he just get back with his old gal and just feel sorry to explain to me....well...to make me feel better maybe i'll just give this as his excuse....

“蛇死桃花謝”...... how dreadful this is~~ is this telling me that i can only meet my true love when i'm in critical illness?

it's the biggest mercy of all that we havn't gone too far .... i'm frustrated.....but i guess i'm not too sad about this......sometimes u just need to accept that this is wat we called " FATE" .....

i'm cool....should be getting back on track very soon...... after all these lessons that i've taken~

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about my last entry, i've tried to access this blog from my iPhone and it still appears normal and i can connect to all the links that it is supposed to go......so is this really a problem caused by the difference between a mac and a pc?? so confused~

Saturday, October 16, 2010

i need help on this blog design

o dear i just learn that people are not seeing what i thought they are seeing ..... i m on the layout of my blog......

i have no problem clicking on the links on the right side bar on my homepage from my macbook.... but then all my frds just couldn't get linked to it supposed to be linked to..... the only items that can get a redirection is when they clicked on "Links+Guessbook" but then it redirect to the page of my self introduction where it supposed to be showing up after the click on "Blogger"....... is this really the difference due to a mac or a pc???? i did a preview every time i edited sth in the html codes and it always showed up as smooth and normal ~~~

who can help me???????????????????? frustrated~

i'm not in

looks like someone is playing games with me.....

this really did stir me up ....

but then i'm pretty sure that i don't wanna get into this.....

if this is really what u want, i'm not gonna play this game.......

i prefer wasting my time enjoying myself rather than being stirred up by some nonsense reaction from u.

ok... i'm trying to make this the last night that i'm struggling with thoughts about u.

tmr i'll be the same me as before and u be the same u....things as the same old things between us.

thanks god i've this place to blah my shit off and self-curing myself.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

What to look at?

Could any one please tell me what would u look at when u are going out with the possible date-to-be?

to discover the things that u don't like about him or to focus on the things that he warms your heart?

when u are making the decision, u consider more on the dislikes or likes??

i know this is stupid to ask....but i don't have an answer..................

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Viktor & Rolf Spring 2011 Collection

Found this on weibo...too cool to love~~~

@ALEXSO

：［Viktor & Rolf Spring 2011 Collection ］Viktor & Rolf 的設計一向都是比較Dramatic的，但這也是我喜歡他們的原因！這次的Spring 2011 Collection也沒有令我失望，用上了數層襯衫的層層疊疊來營造誇張的視覺效果，get the unordinary out of the ordinary！

This is not just fashion....this is art~

I love the quote: get the unordinary out of the ordinary~

Sunday, October 10, 2010

睡不著

半夜餓醒了，吃過東西吃了藥就睡不回去。

黑夜，好像很配莫文蔚的歌

今夜，聽過了《忽然之間》，《他不愛我》，《如果沒有你》，《陰天》，《寶貝》，《愛》，《北極光》，《透視》．．．．．

滿足了，天也漸漸亮了．．．．

如果可以的話我想記下每一天發生過的好事，不管那一天有多麼的糟透，心情有多麼的爛，我想一天裏面怎麼也總會有些好事發生的，即使只是一丁點，也總會有一點點值得記下的好事讓我們回味著．．．．

我在想著昨天裹發生過的好事．．．

生蛇的疹沒那麼痛了，好像開始結痂應該就快好起來。

有一個跟我疏離了一陣子的朋友再跟我連系了，很感動．．．其實吵番了之後一直也很後悔因為吵架的原因實在太雞毛了，心𥚃總是想找個機會和好．．．人大了之後想要交朋友不那麼容易，更何況讓你交了一個各方面都很投契的朋友就更難，和她算是十分難得的友誼，要這麼無謂的失掉一段投契友誼一直都覺得很可惜，所以心𥚃其實一直盤算著總有一天得要跟她和好的念頭．．．今天最大的好事應該是她先走了一步跟我從新連系了～她發了一個短訊問候我．．．十分感動～失而復得的事當要好好珍惜。

上次提起的朋友跟我說了他的感受，他說三年以前我就讓他感動了只是他從來都沒提過。我想瘋了還未想到三年之前我們之間發生過甚麼事。問了他他也說沒甚麼發生過，也沒甚麼原因。我不明白的，但還是不要追根究底比較好。反正他說也只是想讓我多了解他。他，應該還需要點時間復原吧～反正就沒甚麼好著急的．．．還是慢慢走下去看清楚有沒有發展的空間再算～因為知道交上錯的人比自己一個人更辛苦，所以還是認識多點才再打算好了．．．．心情是平靜的。

昨天午睡了一下，很舒服，很愛秋天。

看～原來昨天還不止一件好事發生過呢～

今次病了其實沒有想像中的苦，卻出奇地多了一點得著～

好～天亮了，回去睡！

Saturday, October 09, 2010

朋友．死亡．朋友

今天有兩個朋友跟我提及死亡

一個放不開舊情人，見他訂婚了她發我一個短訊說她想要死

另一個窮途末路我借了他一點錢，不是第一次．．．他跟我說他今個月內又還不了．．．．然後今天他又發了我一個短訊說什麼至少他可以用他的壽險還我錢

朋友的事我是很上心的，有時太上心，常常影響自己的情緒。

姐今天罵我就是把朋友的事太放心上，我看的朋友卻可沒有相對的把我放在心上。

小一點的時候我也會因此很計較，可是人大了，離離合合經歴多了，漸漸的把“情”這東西看得很開．．．即使不是“很開”，也算比以前較看得開，愛情如是，友情如是。

我這個人很信緣份的

朋友跟我親近，再疏離，過一陣子可以再親近，再過一陣子可以再疏離，再親近，再疏離．．．．

但我們還是有緣遇上過．．．

所以朋友和情人一樣也是合則來不合則去．．．一切隨緣。

即使普通一個認識的人，他吿訴我他要死，即使有99﹪只是他隨便說說，我也冒不了那1﹪的險，我也會很不安，我也會千方百計要把他連絡上的

何况今天跟我說想死的都是我的朋友，即使有99﹪只是他隨便說說，我也會有100﹪的不安，總不能什麼也不做的．．．即使他們跟我疏離過．．．．

還幸他們都不是真正的要去尋死．．．

其實要處理這種事，情感上真的很累人，尤其是在我這幾天生蛇再加扁頭痛都無法睡好的日子裏．．．

這兩天的扁頭痛加重了我認為自已命不久矣的想法．．．

很累人，但我還是冒不了那1﹪的險．．．

如果我怎麼也沒做，而最終慘事發生了．．．．我會悔疚一生的。

很累人，但朋友的事就是不可能不放心上．．．．

＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊＊

另一個朋友，他失戀找我傾訴，往後我們連系得越來越頻密，聊天的話題越講越多，多得我也忙了他剛失戀，多得每天不跟他聊過會感到有些怪怪

有一天他草草提起他其實是失戀的，我才突然記起這件事．．．

然後他說他其實好像每天都在找寄託，而我就是他寄託的其中之一。

此時，我才驚醒其實我也把他當寄託了，而且感情投放得太多，開始出了點錯．．．．

我告訴他，不要把我當寄託了，這樣做很不健康。

其實我也是在吿訴自己．．．．

趁還未一發不可收拾之前得控制一下。

看來今次人真的成熟了．．．唔．．．．很好．．．

自己加油！

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Herpes Zoster 生蛇記

I don't know wat the heck is going on with myself.... first of all the swine flu last year.....n now this year....out of unknown reason.... here comes the herpes zoster~ GREAT!

my knowledge on herpes zoster is occurring on those really weak patients who r hving extremely low immune~ for me.... i don't feel sick at all..... some frds said the triggering of herpes zoster is coz of stress or emotion..... well.... i feel upset coz of the leaving of my hello kitty gal.... but presumably i'm not in a state of totally collapsed so this might not be the reason...... some frds said the cause might be accumulative since so much has been happening to me this year..... arrrrghhh... i dunno...just no clue~~

one point worth worrying is that i m not quite healthy at all.... therefore i'm prone to getting all these unusual diseases/ infections~

anyways....here is my lesson on detecting herpes zoster, according to my case :

1. it starts off with rib pain....mislead u that it might be bone pain...n is confined to feeling pain in a single spot

2. the pain continues the second day... at this point...u may notice some rash......well...only very little actually...n they r not swollen so u might not notice....just a tiny bit of change in colouration for a few tiny spots on ur skin....in fact its along the pain site...n the pain might radiate to the back a bit

3. the pain continues the third day.... it is radiating from the front to the back....it's time for u to see the doctor.... u need to describe the time sequence of ur symptoms...and for doctors who are clever enuf may ask if u have seen any rash around ur skin...when u pull up ur clothes n check....ar haaaa.... here the doctor will tell u that u are hving herpes zoster!!!!!! congratulations you will then hv a week off.....at least~

4. the following few days u'll still feel the pain.... u need to take ur medication on time coz the first few days of the "rash-bursting" of herpes zoster, having medication to control is very critical! it defines how serious ur symptoms may go.....this is what i've learnt from the web.... n also the doc did remind me that the earlier i start the medication, the more the situation is under control~

5. some ppl may experience itchiness.... (lucky that i don't...i just feel the pain ).... DO NOT SCRATCH THEM!!!!! this is very important..... as the days go one...the area of the rash grows larger n u may feel more uncomfy....but just don't scratch them.....else u'll leave lotta scar and u'll regret~

ok...this is my experience by far.... tmr i'll be going to review my condition again.... n will see how many more days i need to be off and rest~

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生蛇，即帶狀疱疹，英文如上述即HERPES ZOSTER。生蛇事件中讓我發現我也不致於無人問津的，姐＋樂＋他媽媽很擔心，還有我知道表姐也有點擔心．．．FB上朋友們都一一關心問候，連基本上在我的人際關係中算是最疏離的同事們見我染了以為只有體弱病人才得的病的時候也紛紛打來慰問，大家都總算對我很有心了～有朋友說來買我吃的，還有朋友說要不要陪我拜神（當然被我婉拒了因我不拜神的嘛，但這麼有心還真的叫人很感動～）～～有病呆在家FB也總會有人有空和我聊聊天和回應我不時更新的無聊狀態，所以也不算太苦悶。而且也多了幾天時間來做做將近DEADLINE的功課～其實上天也對我很好了，沒有安排今次生蛇事件發生在我的情緒低落期，所以心情還算OK的～而且也很樂觀～真好！！（雖然也有點擔心會手尾很長和怕會留下疤痕 T^T....)

“好人好姐” 無故生蛇我也有胡思亂想自己可能很快死掉的，不是悲觀的那一種胡思亂想，只是有很多奇怪想法，例如死後我該化成那一種昆蟲去找我最後想要見到的人才不致於惹人反感而將我拍死呢．．．會這麼的想因為在我得知小女孩已過身了的當天在我工作的地方竟然出現了一隻蒼蠅，還要是異常大的那種，然後每個同事（包括我）都想辦法要把它解決掉～我也是事後才傻想其實會不會是小女孩化了蒼蠅飛來探我呢？哈哈～應該不會吧～因為她很愛美的死後應該不會想化做蒼蠅吧～可是這想法也纏繞了我好一陣子～ ANYWAY，至於我，我想大概我會傳統的化做蝴蝶吧，至少讓人很易聯想到我的來意，也應該沒有多少人會把蝴蝶拍死吧～

我想今次生蛇病假還要休上好幾天的，希望快點認認真真的把功課做完然後騰出多點時間休養生息，栽花種草，佈置家居，畫畫怡情．．．．．諸如此類吧～哈哈～

Sunday, October 03, 2010

MY GUEST BOOK~

It's procrastination again....i'm not starting my assignments but then very much want to post this up first!!!

This is the guestbook paksen used on her whitemorning blog..... i love it so much....it can help u spend ur time when u r bored...... i hv lotta fun using that~ although sometimes it is difficult to manipulate its functions.....

i've been waited and waited and waited.....and FINALLY.....it's free for registration laaaaaaaa..... so now i hv my own drawing board tooooo.... yeahhhhhhhhh~~~~~~

so now when u feel bored already...except going to my seldom-updating-FlickR ( as inside "Links" on the right column), u can go to my drawing board guestbook and spend some time there~~~

or u can go just now....hahaa........go go go... click here and go draw sth draw sth~~~

LAST MONTH～～ HORRAY～～～～～

This is the last month of my master course..... i hate studying.... i hate it i hate it i hate it........

therefore i'm feeling very excited on seeing the end of this .....

three more assignments to go...one on the 10th and two on the 31st..........

awwwwwww.... can't wait..... i've lotta plans after the ending of this damn studying thing~

sooooooooo excited~~~~~

Saturday, October 02, 2010

RIP my hello kitty gal

Finally i've learnt that..... on the date of her birthday....she's already left on the first sunday night following mid-autumn.

can't describe how painful i felt.... although i've always been preparing for this ..... when the news stroke and u gotta face it.....it is still very difficult to accept.....

although i feel upset on losing her, i know this is all for her good..... so now she's pain free....and happily living up in heaven ...... walk and run , smile and laugh and sing and dance as much as she loved to.....

There're still lots of her frds leaving her birthday messages on her facebook.... sadly this account will never be logged in by her again.....

prolly she can still read these lovely messages up on heaven....sure she can......

she has given me a biggest lesson to learn.... on how to treasure time that we could have....while she wanted it so much but she hasn't been granted the chance to live her life.......

i'll be missing her dearly.... she'll be in my heart forever.

Thanks for coming across into my life...... i miss you.